When they spit at me, when they grab at me, they aren't hurting me. When i push out and mangle the flesh of another, it's falling so short of what I really want to do to them. - Henry Rollins
First off I just want to give you a recap of my life starting from 2023.
so in 2023 my family was finally able to buy a house and that means i had to switch schools. i was happy cause i got bullied at my other school so i found no reason to be upset. when i switched schools i only had 1 friend and it was a girl from my old school. at the new school i met two girls who i'll call Willow and Mel (Everyones name will be changed). Mel quickly told us that she had a crush on a boy named Juan. She tells us she doesn't know how to talk to him so i offer to do it for her. I do, however, i also follow one of his friends by accident. The friend i followed was named Garland and i thought he looked really pretty (Thats not really important though). Anyways Garland tries to find out who i am and in the span of like 3 months he does find out cause he got 2 of his friends to find me. Willow didnt really like the whole situation cause she said i was acting weird. I brushed that off and i eventually became friends with Garland.
Fast forward to January 2024 and Mel no longer likes Juan, she likes his friend, Nick, instead. They start to date and Mel drifts off from the trio. Now im left with Willow. Garland just hangs out with Juan or is just lonely. Me and Willow fight a lot but we push through. Me and Garland get really close to each other and we talk every day. Fast forward again to August 2024 and i'm in 10th grade. Me and Willow are still friends but I haven't talked to Garland in awhile and me and Mel are close to ending our friendship. I meet some new people named Henry, Lina, Nico, Rose and Mateo. Everything is peaceful until January 2025. I get into a fight with my mom and im not doing great mentally. I'm lashing out and im not being myself. Me and Garland begin talking and i feel happy again. Willow introduces me to a girl named Ruby and we become friends. Willow starts acting a little distant and she gets angrier more than often. In early March she tells me shes no longer friends with Mel cause shes acting weird, but to show Mel that theyre still on good terms shes gonna say "thank you" when Mel hands her sommething in her class. I say okay. I want to mention that before this, in Feburary, me and Mel ended things on good terms. I was pretty sad for Mel but I kept moving.
Okay so now as it gets closer to my birthday, Willow is acting extremely distant and shes being mean to people. I plan to tell her that I dont want to be friends but she beats me to it. She pulls me to the side with Ruby and tells me im annoying, i dont know right from wrong, she doesnt like it when i lash out when im not in my right mind, that i make her want to rip her skin off and that she likes me as a person but not as a friend(?) I say okay and i walk away as Willow also walks away with her new friend group. Now im starting to get closer to my other friends and i actually feel very happy recently. That's it.